Who am I? I’m many things, but as far as it relates to this blog, I am a transmasculine professor working to recover from an eating disorder. Note that I’m posting about these issues together both because they fit together and because they’re both a part of me! Trans people have a much higher rate of eating disorders, perhaps because we often experience dissatisfaction with our bodies. I think my eating disorder stemmed from a lot of places and experiences, but I certainly can’t disconnect it from my gender.
Why did I start the blog? I started this blog to give insight to people who know me, to keep friends and family updated on how I’m doing, and to hopefully help others who may be struggling with some of the same issues. While everyone experiences things differently, I know it’s been helpful for me to see that I’m not alone.
Why call it a journey? The title of the blog comes from a conversation I’ve had about how I see this recovery/discovery process as a journey—I’m learning more about myself and making progress overall, but I don’t think there’s an end goal to achieve. I hope to reduce the eating disordered thoughts and behaviors, I hope to learn more about myself, and I hope to better understand my own gender and how to relate to others what I need them to know, but none of these are things I can perfect. This is hard for me, because I’m definitely a perfectionist!
How is this blog organized? I like to be organized, but please don’t expect this blog to follow a chronological order. I plan to post about current events in my life as well as share writings where I explore things from long ago. Some of these writings feel extremely emotional and dramatic—it’s sometimes hard even for me to believe how strongly I feel about things, but I’m trying to portray things as I see them. Many writings lack a real conclusion, have unsatisfying endings, or end in questions. I see that as again tying into how I see things as an ongoing journey.
Guidelines for Reading and Commenting
Please be respectful! I’m posting about some sensitive issues, and I’m still working through many of them. This puts me in a vulnerable spot, so I appreciate you keeping that in mind.
I find weights to be triggering, so I plan to leave them out of my stories—while I don’t mind sharing, I don’t want to trigger others. If anyone feels like commenting, I’d appreciate you avoiding similar numbers, including amounts gained/lost.