For so long, “fat” has been a word I’ve omitted from my vocabulary—a word only said to myself, about myself, in moments of great distress. I’ve heard it hurled at others, and even myself to a small extent as a young kid, as a terrible insult.
As I’ve read more and learned more, however, I’m beginning to think that maybe “fat” isn’t such a bad word. While it should never be used as a derogatory word, perhaps it could be a good descriptor for those who choose to embrace it. Like “queer”, perhaps “fat” could be a reclaimed word.
“Overweight” implies that there’s some weight that one “should” be, and therefore indicates a failing in the person being described. “Obese” sounds too clinical, and it comes from a root having to do with overeating. I used “people in larger bodies” for a while, and I don’t think that’s wrong, but to me, it sounds like I’m dancing around the point, afraid to describe the person directly. If someone can be described as thin with no ill intent, why not fat?
For someone like me, who is larger than they’re used to, the word “fat” feels like it fits a little better than it has in the past. I can actually think it about myself without quite as much terror as before. Right now, I’m fat. Some of this may be due to medication, and some if it may change—but I’m beginning to think I can handle it even if it doesn’t.
I do worry that calling myself fat could be taken the wrong way, however. Am I fat enough to use the word? Is that a label I can claim?
That reminds me of when I wondered if I was trans “enough”. The answer is yes—if I feel that I’m trans, I’m trans. But I’ve felt fat when I clearly (to everyone else) wasn’t, and it wouldn’t have been appropriate to describe myself that way to others. Now, however, I’m not sure.
Lots of questions to ponder.