While discussing my thoughts and beliefs with my therapist, I explained some of my fears and how I see each food-related decision as potentially leading to terrible consequences. My therapist likened it to the children’s book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and that really felt like it fit (and not just for the food metaphor!)
In the book, for anyone unfamiliar, a young child gives a mouse a cookie. The mouse then wants a glass of milk to go with it, which prompts the mouse to ask for a look in the mirror to make sure he doesn’t have a milk mustache, which leads to more and more related events. Things continue to escalate.
That’s one of my (many) fears. If I finish that last bite of my meal, maybe I’ll finish all of my meals, even if I’m not hungry and even if they’re “too much”. Maybe I’ll eat more than I need to and continue doing so and gain even more weight than I already have. If I don’t worry quite so much about my size, maybe I’ll stop caring at all (not likely!) and continue to get bigger without it ever stopping.
I don’t really have a clever answer to this type of thinking, but just identifying it feels like a step. Seeing the relationship between my thoughts and a silly children’s book helps me to work on that thinking. It’s a long road ahead, but I’m working on it!