Fairly early in recovery, I learned that “all bodies are good bodies”.
If that’s true, then since my body is part of “all bodies”, it must be good. I don’t have to analyze it or focus on it, and I can completely ignore it. It’s in the set of all bodies, so it’s good. End of story; time to move on.
At some point, though, I realized that it wasn’t enough for me to say that all bodies are good bodies and to then ignore my body and pretend it doesn’t exist.
So what does that saying even mean?
My oldest kid can reach the upper cabinets now and is strong enough to give their little sister piggyback rides. They love riding around the neighborhood on their bike or scooter. Their body is a good body.
My youngest kid is incredibly flexible and strong. She can climb anything and do one-handed cartwheels. Her body is a good body.
I have friends who are tall and can easily reach up high, friends who are short and can easily reach down low, friends who are strong, friends who are soft and comfortable, friends whose bodies can run, friends whose bodies can swim, friends who can use their bodies to help others… each of their bodies is a good body. Some of them realize that for themselves, and others are still working on that.
So mine must be good, too, I suppose—and not just because it’s a body and therefore categorically good, full stop.
There are many things I cannot do—right now, I can’t even walk normally. But there are a lot of things I can do.
My balance is good, so I can use my “peg leg” that allows me to walk without using my bad ankle. Many of my muscles are not as strong as usual, since I can’t do things with certain joints, but others are making up for it and are even stronger than usual. My body is coping and adapting so it can still function for me.
My body is flexible, which allows me to find creative ways to do what I want to do. I can do partial splits rather than bending at the knee. I can easily sit in unusual cross-legged positions to protect my ankle.
And my body is soft. My 8-year-old loves to snuggle with me. I can see and feel how safe and comfortable she feels, and a lot of that is because of who I am as a person, but some of it is the actual physical attributes—the same ones I’m so afraid of.
So yes, all bodies are good bodies.
And each body is a good body.
And my body is a good body.