Musings on People’s Acceptance of Different Eating Disorders
When I met with my psychiatrist recently, I pointed out that he had put “anorexia, unspecified type” in my chart. I clarified that I had “restricting type”. (There also exists “purging type”, where a person may eat to fulfill their body’s needs but then purges afterward. This differs from bulimia in that a person with […]
Higher Level of Care?
Content Warning: Disordered thoughts, talk of weight changes (no numbers) My dietitian brought up the idea of a higher level of care a couple weeks ago. I pointed out that some of my recent trouble was medication-related, but she said that even my baseline thoughts from before then warranted a higher level of care. At […]
Unexpected trauma
This is the longest post I’ve written, by far, and it contains a number of disordered thoughts, both from a traumatic experience last week and from other experiences throughout my life. I do counter those thoughts and show how I’ve improved in many ways, but this is a post to read with caution (or not […]
Transactional Thinking
I’ve struggled for a long time with the thought that I don’t deserve things (for example, see my post from over two years ago, before this weight gain even started). How can I deserve food when I’m in such a large body? How can I deserve my friends when I never do enough for them? […]
Beliefs
My aunt posted something on Facebook that included the following quote, and it really made me think. “People who are healthy like to believe they can always keep being healthy if they do the right things. They don’t want to think about how good people get struck with terrible circumstances for no reason. So they […]
Top Surgery Report
I had my top surgery last Thursday, and I’m feeling really good about it. Even though I asked for some anti-nausea meds, I had a surprising amount of nausea. After giving me four different meds, they finally gave up and just let me vomit for several hours, so that was fun. I also had an […]
I Won’t Miss Out on Life
The past year has been a mystery, as we’ve tried to determine what was causing my weight gain. Despite having no major changes in eating or exercise, my weight went up very significantly this past year. For someone who is still struggling with anorexia, this was incredibly hard to deal with. This is the main […]